The Bible has a clear stance on sex and sexual purity. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside of the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against his own body.” We as disciples of Christ are called to a life of self-control. God made sex to be enjoyed, but only within a marriage covenant. Those of us who are unmarried, must practice self-control and remain abstinent until we are married. Sex is, in many ways, like fire. It has a purpose and can be greatly beneficial to those who use it in its proper context.
If you light a fire and put it on a candle or in a fire place, it can show its intended purpose. It can illuminate the room, bring warmth, and be completely beneficial to those using it. However, if you take that same fire and throw it on your living room floor, it will only bring destruction. What is the difference between these two situations? The use of the fire outside of its proper container. Much like the fire, sex can be beneficial when used in its proper context. It can bring a great deal of intimacy into a marriage and create a bond between husband and wife. If sex is used outside of it’s intended purpose, it will only bring destruction to those involved.
So then, how do we as singles practice abstinence and remain sexually pure until marriage?
Understand Who You Belong To.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” When we receive Christ as our Savior, we turnover ownership of our bodies to Christ. We no longer strive to do whatever we would like to do. Rather, we strive to do what pleases Christ. Pleasing Him means to practice self-control and bring Him glory with our bodies.
Remember that Your Sex Drive is NOT a Sin.
Your sex drive was given to you by God to be used later within marriage. Your sex drive is not the sin, fulfilling that sex drive through illegitimate means is the sin. These illegitimate means include: adultery, fornication (sex with others outside of marriage), masturbation (self sex), pornography (lust of the eyes), lesbianism, homosexuality, etc. We must abstain from these things in order to maintain sexual purity.
Sex Drive vs. Lust.
Lust is typically the reason we give into the illegitimate means listed above. Lust is can be defined as “an overmastering desire for what is forbidden.” Our sex drive is a natural, God given desire for sex and procreation. There is nothing wrong with the sex drive itself. It is only when we give into our desires for sex, by fulfilling it with illegitimate means, when we are in sin. Lust provides the avenue for sexual sin. You must kill lust at its source if you are to practice self-control.
Killing Lust.
We have what I like to call human gates that we carry with us from day-to-day. These gates are the ear gate, the eye gate, and the mouth gate. We must guard each of these gates carefully to kill lust at its source. So, take inventory of what is going into your ear and eye gate, and what is coming out of your mouth gate. What are you listening to? Is the music you listen to lust-filled? What are you watching? Are the TV shows you watch saturated with lustful content? What are you saying? Are you speaking that
Writer Wytesha Underwood
which is edifying to the body of Christ? Or are you speaking lustful things? Take inventory and guard
those gates.
In addition to guarding your gates. Are you fighting the temptations that come your way? Or are you just
sitting back and letting sin take over you? Where is your fight? If you want to be free from lust and live a
life of sexual purity, you have to be radical in your fight against sin. Fight back. Stop going to that guys
house at night. Set up boundaries. Let that girl know that you are a man of God and if she can’t respect
that then say goodbye. Instead of laying, there and masturbating, go for a run. After a few miles, I
promise you that sex drive will be worn out.
Lastly, Be Patient with Your Process.
It is going to take some time to get used to fighting against sin. Please remember the righteous man falls
seven times but he gets back up every single time. If you fall, get back up. Don’t wallow in sin, God
forbids that. Know that the Holy Spirit is with you to guide you in this process. And be confident of this,
“that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect and complete it until the day Christ
Jesus returns.”- Philippians 1:6 (AMP)
